Phantom Pain

Since May 22, 2012 I have had pain.  At first it was surgical pain.  As soon as I was out of surgery and in the recovery room I was having pain in my foot that had been amputated.  I continued to have pain throughout my hospital stay but was had access to an epidural, pain pump, and various narcotic injections.  I left the hospital on oral narcotics (pills) but over the next couple of weeks 3-4 I was in so much uncontrolled pain I didn't want to live like that.  The pain was only in my missing foot.  I had Phantom pain.

For those people that have not had an amputation phantom pain can never  be adequately described.  For my it was a burning, stabbing, electric shock and cramping pains.  My toes would feel cramped and crossed over one another and I couldn't move them.  As the pain continued I did not sleep I went weeks with no more than an hour of sleep a time.  I was nauseous and throwing up daily.  I wanted the pain to stop I wanted to be like I was before.  I finally went to the hospital where I started getting injections every 4 hours.  They helped, it didn't get rid of the pain but dulled it down where I was able to manage.

I has now been over 7 months since my amputation and I am still in constant pain, now chronic pain.  I hate it to put it simply.  It encompasses my whole life along with the narcotics I am still reliant on.  I am continuing to look into other alternatives to help with the phantom pain.  I know if I can feel better that my life can get back to "normal".

I know am able to understand the many people that have chronic pain.  I understand how depressing, tiring and debilitating it is.  So if I don't seem like myself it's because I'm not.  I truly hope to get better and in my heart I feel like I will but I know it isn't now so in the mean time I hope to just keep going taking my days an hour at a time.

And on Friday I got my 3 rd new leg!  I think I'll like it better!!!