CANCER

I got home from my foot surgery 3 days later.  I wasn't able to weight bear at all and it was casted.  I hated it.  I couldn't take care of my children so my Mom saved the day.  She would come in the morning get Ty off to school and then me, Lucy and Miles would go to her house for the day.  It was painful and swollen.  Two weeks later I went back to Calgary and Dr. Puloski looked at the incision took out stitches and gave me an air cast and told me to start to slowly put weight on it.  At that time my pathology results still weren't available, but he told me that as soon as he got the results he would call me knowing I would want them right away.


I went home and walked on my foot way to soon and it got so swollen it turned a purplish red colour and I couldn't stand to walk on it.  At this time it happened to be Ty's 7th birthday so my mom and Kaylee helped save the day  (did everything pretty much) and Grandma Sharon made the cake.  Thank Heavens for Grandma's and a super aunt.

Last minute while I was still healing I decided to go with our Gibb family down to Arizona for a family vacation.  Dallas couldn't come with work being to busy, but my mom came with me to help me with my 3 kids.  Lucky I had her the vacation turned into sick kids everywhere.  Miles got sick a couple days before we came home and threw up at security at the airport, on the plane and multiples times on the drive from Bozeman, Montana to home.  But we got him home to the hospital and he got better after a few more days.

Looking back I'm sure glad it worked for us to go on that holiday because things were going to get worse.


After I got home from Arizona I had been thinking about the tumour and wanting to know what the results were as it had been 5 weeks since the operation.  I called the Raymond clinic asking if they would be able to check over the computer.  They called and said to come by the office that afternoon.  But before I could go Dr. Puloski called my house.  It was April 16, 2012.  He said Hi Lyndsay.....  This is Dr. Puloski calling well I guess I'm calling with bad news the lump in your foot is a malignant myoepithelioma.  I need to see you up at the Tom Baker Cancer Center but before I see you I need to discuss your case with other surgeons, oncologists and radiation oncologists at the Tumor Board Rounds I think I know what is best but I want to go over all the options before I talk to you so I'll see you here on April 30, 2012.  Make sure you bring your husband and or mom with you.


I was so shocked but had felt that this would happen all along.  But to really here it to know that it was MY DIAGNOSIS was unbelievable.  I was hurt, and scared and felt alone.  I called Dallas and told him it was cancer and then hung up and cried on my bed while my children asked me what was wrong.  I cried and cried wanting it to go away.  So scared I would be dying and leaving my children without a mom.  


Dallas came home from Taber right after I called and said we better go tell your mom and dad.  I remember pulling up to the house.  My mom and dad were outside by the garage.  I can't remember what they were doing but I remember walking to my parents and saying the lump in my foot was cancer.  I didn't cry I just didn't want my family to see how scared and hurt I was.  I could tell my mom wanted to cry but held it in for me.  My dad got stiff and upset and said well are they sure; now what do you do.  I said that they had to talk about my rare cancer with other doctors and I would know what they wanted to do in 2 weeks.


It was so horrible and kind of a blur.  I think my mom told my brother and sister and she told my grandparents and aunts and uncles.  I just didn't want to talk about it.


I was so terrified that I would be dying it's all I could think at the time.


I was given a priesthood blessing by my Dad and brother and another blessing by my Stake President.  It reassured me that this trial was mine and was not a consequence of anything I did or didn't do, but that I had chose to do this and that my body would be strong.


We had a family fast and we had a prayer together as an entire extended family.  More than 70 family members came to my moms house and together we prayed.  My grandpa gave the prayer and the strength of the Spirit was so strong I knew that my Father in Heaven heard our prayer.


I didn't pray for a miracle because inside I knew that this was not going to just disappear.  But I prayed for comfort and strength and I prayed asking that I could raise my children and love them on this earth.


Being diagnosed with cancer was Hard.  There is nothing good about it.  I was a 28 year old mother of 3 and pregnant with my 4th baby.  I hated cancer and hated knowing it was changing my life.  But I was certain my Heavenly Father loved me.  Somehow I knew I just had to keep waking up and going forward.  Somedays I really didn't want to.


I think I knew what was coming.